I have not written for quite some time now, and I am wondering whether I want to chart my struggles with depression, or will that give the disease too much power? Do I even believe that depression is a disease? I don’t know that I do. I think I see depression as a combination of temperament and personal history. In other words, I believe that I suffer in the way that I do because of the way in which my personal history, from infant hood to the present day, combines with my very sensitive temperament. So, what am I hoping that writing about this and recording it in this blog will do? I think I am hoping that it will help cure me. Which right off the bat sounds a little ludicrous. How can it cure me if I don’t believe that what I suffer from is really a disease? Maybe I am hoping that by using my writing I will be able to bring my strengths to bear upon my struggles. Strengths like my writing skills, my self-knowledge, and my sense of perception. I am hoping that these skills will help me see through the distorted way in which depression colors my life. The way it influences me to highlight my failures and flaws, and diminish my accomplishments and strengths.
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